I [heart] Top Gear

Jeremy Richardson and Richard Hammond, while driving a Lamborghini through the stacked switchbacks in the Italian Alps.

Hammond: "The drops! It's impossible! If you go over the edge, you'll have time to phone the insurance company on the way down!"

Richardson: "Not like Playstation, this: you can't just press the "reset" button when you get it wrong. You just go straight through the pearly gates...on fire!"

Some High Falutin' Church Worship For Your Masses

Meditating on the icons has long been a way to contemplate Christ and His Work through the arts. So here is my favorite musical piece of all time, set to iconography--although I wish it did not change so quickly. I guess iconography can fall prey to limited visual attention spans even if there are no commercial breaks...

See! Via the internet, even a hillbilly in Wesleyan Countryfolk Heaven can experience some of the grandeur of a full church choir and high church art!

---

additional note: in pondering the other day with Ethan, over fine beverage, it occurred to me that the happiest memories of my life are those of communal singing. So great thanks to brother David, for helping me startle all those tourists in Frankenmouth with robust carol singing.

Sufjan sings the same. Also, "For the Widows in Paradise, for the Fatherless in Ypsilanti."

Merry Christmas from the Night Shift!

I'm totally wearing some awesome Christmas Carhartt bib overalls while listening to BNL's "We Three Kings." Merry Christmas and yeee haw!

please please please please please

If anyone knows the whereabouts of my CD case with years' worth of collecting excellent music from excellent people, my iPod died and I need it back so I can listen to awesome tunes again...

Napoleon Confounds Mathematicians

The "strangely polarizing" 2004 comedy film "Napoleon Dynamite" counfounds programmers attempting to algorithmically predict people's taste in film in order to improve Netflix's movie-recommendation software. Apparently, it's difficult to predict people's reactions to Napoleon Dynamite.

Read Well...

"I am not a well educated man except that I have educated myself, and,
because I have educated myself, what I say will not stand up, for lack of recognized authority. This in turn leaves me free to say what I will, in the hope that, like those small forces that do not threaten empires and are thus not fully pursued, the things in which I believe can survive in some high and forgotten place until the power of empire subsides.

"And although I know that few will listen to or credit this, I think we are in a lost age, in which holiness and charity have been traded for the victory and penetration of knowledge, though all the knowledge in the world has not brought us any further than where we can go without it even in the outermost halls of grace. I believe that more is to be known and apprehended from the beauty of a face than in delving, no
matter how deep, simply into how things work, no matter how marvelous that may be. The greatest substance of the world is immaterial, the province of the heart, and its study cannot be forced or reasoned. Merely to touch upon the edge of things in parsing their mechanics is to forswear their fullness, for the entry to this fullness lies not in science but in art. I cannot prove this, for it cannot be proven, but I claim, assert, and have seen it."

— Mark Helprin, found here. Read his excellent, touching and well writ essay on humanity in the technological age here. No, seriously, take fifteen or twenty precious minutes and read it...it will give you perspective on your soul. It's about accelerated tranquility. It's got a sweet description of the life of a British civil servant from the turn of the century. It's not idealistic. It's better than good information--it's got wisdom.

Laugh

This is pretty funny.

--edit--

heh heh...from the Pittsburg Post-Gazette:

"...Ms. Donnelly, who heads the nonpartisan Center for Military Readiness, argues that ordering women to serve in combat is lowering standards and creating resentment among male soldiers. "There are differences between men and women where physical strength is an issue."

That's a point Ms. Manning, a Navy veteran, disputes.

"There are some pretty strapping women out there," she said..."

Tactfully put, Ms. Manning.

Classy Speech

Senator McCain shushes the booing crowds and gently rebukes the rancor and divisiveness of the long campaign. Very statesmanlike. Honorable. Classy. This is a McCain who impresses me. He plaintively asks his booing audience "Please, please..." and I wonder if he is occasionally saddened that the nation for which he endured war, prison and torture so easily descends into indecency, suspicion, bitterness and hatred, and if the necessities of campaigning warred against a basic sense of honor, patriotism, and friendship for his fellow Senators.



When Senator McCain takes the responsibility for failure of the campaign, I think he is speaking of his failure to set an example as a statesman--his failure to match President-Elect Obama's marriage of firm convictions with civility, tranquility and faith in democracy. He did an excellent job of not playing the victim. Obama seemed to rise above anger, bitterness, and spite, and encouraged his supporters to hope and believe and act. McCain didn't manage to do that--I think he got lost in a campaign of fear, rancor, self-importance, arrogance, excitement, and the odd emotions of a stubborn, beer swilling reverse-elitism.

The Old King Is Dead...

Long Live the King! errr, ummm...I mean, congratulations and best wishes, President-Elect Obama! May you lead wisely, govern capably, and promote justice and peace in the land.

Thoughts from the post-election sandy-eyed dreary blur:

-I haven't successfully slept more than four hours on a presidential election night since H. W. was in office. I am and always will be incurably a political animal. I "just stopped by" the campus centre for a few minutes between working out and getting to be on time for work this morning, and started talking...and got to be at around one-ish.

-I earnestly feel bad for my most earnestly liberal friends: nothing crushes revolutionary high hopes like winning the revolution. I mean, we had a Republican Revolution and all we got was a couple of messy wars, the death of compassionate conservatism, deficit spending, government intrusion into the financial sector and the serious erosion of civil liberties. The only thing more frustrating than being powerless is being in charge when your high aspirations and messianic dreams meet the harsh limitations of reality.

-Hoooray for America! 225+ years of violence-free elections. Three cheers for the rule of law! And good for us, the land of equal opportunity, where Austrian bodybuilders can call themselves the REAL Americans and a Harvard educated, extremely articulate, very-palatable-to-white-culture son of a white woman can be hailed as the first black president. What exactly are the qualifications for being the first "black" president? Could he have been the first black president if only his grandfather, instead of his father, was black? Great-grandfather? (Is there some sort of black-ness test, involving ability to dance, general sense of "cool"...was it that fist-bump thing?) Is Obama really African-American, considering that his father was a bona-fide African, and his mother was a white American, so neither of his parents were actually African American. And was that really bona-fide country music I heard blaring at his victory party in that Chicago baseball field? What is the significance of Michelle Obama's hairstyle? At any rate, let's take a deep breath and be proud of our country, where President-Elect Barack Obama can be judged by the content of his character. As Mike said, "there is no question that I am proud of America for accepting the leadership of someone who 50 years ago wouldn't have been allowed to ride the same bus with his Vice President(-elect)."

-'Kay, time for a question--I know what Obama's opponents thought he would do as president. What do you, my friends who voted blue, think his first hundred days will look like?

For All Those Dutifully Kow-Towing to the TSA

..."I once asked Michael Chertoff, the secretary of Homeland Security, about this. 'We actually ultimately do have a vision of trying to move the security checkpoint away from the gate, deeper into the airport itself, but there’s always going to be some place that people congregate. So if you’re asking me, is there any way to protect against a person taking a bomb into a crowded location and blowing it up, the answer is no.' ”

A journalist decides to see how easy it is to smuggle prohibited items onto commercial flights.

old skool

Steve Taylor, on Greed. This quirky early CCM singer-songwriter (he broke his ankle jumping off a stage at Cornerstone...in 1984) was a satirical genius...Too bad he wasn't quite polite enough to make it as a CCM artist. He's a done a lot behind the scenes, however, including writing and producing for the Newsboys and Sixpence None The Richer.

He penned the lyrics to this song, one of the better songs the Newsboys ever recorded, before they lost John James, and his edgy honesty, to a battle with drugs and alcoholism. Ten years after I started listening to Newsboys, and I still know every word to this song.

It's tough voting Republican...

in a world of completely unethical Republicans. Perhaps you have received an email detailing the number of deaths in the armed services year by year since 1980, coming to the conclusion that, under the Clinton Administration, 14,107 soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines died, while only 7,932 died under good ol' dubya, bless his heart.

This is, naturally, contradictory to "common sense," which is the point of this email. The numbers even come with a source. So I read the source, and it was pretty impressively researched. It had lots of food for thought. But, the numbers in the email were sometimes significantly different than the ones in the report (see chart, page 10). I ran a quick tally with a calculator, and verified my results with two other reports.

Clinton: 7,500 active duty military deaths.
Bush: 8,792 active duty military deaths, not counting 2007 or 2008.

Which is still pretty impressive, considering that Bush is waging two wars. Apparently, there are a good number of deaths by accident/illness/homicide even in off-years. But, seriously, did you really believe that 2000+ American soldiers died each year in 1995, 1996, and 1998 (more than died in any year of the wars in Iraq/Afghanistan?)

Hey, well, real numbers doesn't make down-home, righteous, self-assured Republicans feel better about their war. Believing something because it makes liberals out to be stupid, incompetent, unpatriotic, sniveling, add your descriptor of choice, does.

So, Americans everywhere. Could we find a way to elevate our discussion of public policy to something better than lies and vilification? Let's start here.

I, Dan Holcomb, pledge not to be gullible when someone walks by waving the flag and selling an a feel-fear/feel-good/feel-superior agenda. I pledge to take seriously the governance of our society, which is an inheritance of great value passed down to me by ancestors both conservative and liberal, and which has no legions of liberal-American-hating/conservative-reactionary-war-loving enemies but actually is constituted of a lot of people like me, except with different unfounded and often reflexive opinions. I pledge to not believe something because it fits what I already believe or want to believe, but to ask to see some real evidence. I pledge to resist actions and thoughts that come from lazy conditioning and emotional impulse.

And foremost, I pledge not to feel superior to someone else because of my ideology. I will, instead, feel superior based upon my actions--the things I actually do to make my city, my county, my state, and my country a better place, not just by voting so that someone else can be my moral scapegoat, but by doing it myself.

--

ps--for those of you involved in education, the armytimes.com article about this email would be an excellent discussion-starter on the importance of doing your own research and getting solid sources and then checking the addition and subtraction yourself instead of believing an email just because it claims to use data from a reputable source.

--

pps--I am accepting 500-word submissions at reifiedbeans+comedy (at symbol) gmail.com. Topic: creative explanations for the "mistaken" numbers in the email in question.

--

also, is anyone reading this? I've been posting a lot lately, but...no comments. Am I obnoxious? Uninteresting? Under the radar? Send me some love. Cheers!

sweet t shirts

oh yeah

also: cool stuff...

five dangerous things you should teach your children to do. I like the emphasis on empowering children, inspiring inquiry, and engaging with the world in a way that involves breaking it down into knowable bits. In spite of my initial skepticism after his admission that he has none of his own. Love the introduction to civil disobedience in the last one. Even law-abiding citizens shouldn't be mindlessly so.

alternatively, you could just go full-Bedford and model cliff jumping

finally, someone besides Daniel Quinn who questions the belief that agricultural societies are, as a whole, better off than hunter-gatherer ones, but with more evidence. [edit: well, more anecdotal evidence--no sources].

finally, don't mess with the Indian Navy. they will use their tiger torpedoes on you.



from the big picture.

oh, and, because of my love of all things post-apocalyptic--apocalypse as pornography.

and one more thing--all the people in the world, represented by grains of rice.

--edit again--
As you might be aware, the top five of my google reader shared items are available on the upper lefthand corner of my little blogsite here. Basically, it's interesting reading. I've updated the header there to link to a page where you can see all my google reader shared items, and I think even comment on them, which would be cool. There's some good reading there. And I chose the "ninja" style, because they didn't have a pirate one. So check it out!

Ahhhh, Jon Stewart...

You Are So Painfully Funny (With Russian Subtitles, For Extra Irony and Human Impact)

found here (warning--there are a few very obviously dead bodies in some of the other posts)

tee hee

if only...

great webcomic. at least, as far as I've read--I started at the beginning.

-- edit --

I am absolutely loving the freakonomics blog. For instance, this blurb about the application of the theory of supply and demand to the a shortage of single women in an Australian town. Apparently, the mayor, seeing opportunity for everyone, suggested addressing a 5-1 male/female ratio by advertising for ugly women elsewhere to improve their relative value by marketing themselves in a scarce area. Needless to say, this did not fly so well with local women, who feel inclined to protect their monopoly and elevated values on the man-market. Oh, and there's this swell link to a bit about the importance of defined property rights at an Elton John concert.

Surprise!

Wait for the humorous punchline, defensive religious Republicans!

"An article by Steven Waldman in the online magazine Slate provides some perspective on the divide:

"As you may already know, one of America's two political parties is extremely religious. Sixty-one percent of this party's voters say they pray daily or more often. An astounding 92 percent of them believe in life after death. And there's a hard-core subgroup in this party of super-religious Christian zealots. Very conservative on gay marriage, half of the members of this subgroup believe Bush uses too little religious rhetoric, and 51 percent of them believe God gave Israel to the Jews and that its existence fulfills the prophecy about the second coming of Jesus."

The group that Waldman is talking about is Democrats; the hard-core subgroup is African-American Democrats."

:) Paul Bloom in the Atlantic Monthly.

stuff of interest

--thank you luke, most interesting reading on the web--

termites are very impressive

Jesus is my Homeboy

don't really know what to think about this, but it's about theology and booze, and I think the author was overindulging just a tad in both...

and, hipster webcomics

can you think of a significant literary quote by an author born after 1950?



oh, and for Kat, another way to get the old creative-writing thing going again: stories in fifty-five words.

George Lucas, Q&A

George Lucas, on turning the Star Wars: Clone Wars TV series into a feature length film:

"I have the advantage of not having to have a business plan about movies..."I have the advantage of being able to come up with an idea and say 'this is a good idea' and 'gosh this turned out so great, why don't we move it over here and do this'....it's kind of ad-hoc movie-making.

"We started working on the [TV]series and we developed all this new technology, new techniques, this different look to everything and I saw it.....and I said 'wow this is good enough to be a feature film. Why don't we make a feature film?'".

Uhhhhh...because of Star Wars, Episode I. Star Wars, Episode II. A little pile of trash called Star Wars, Episode III. And, finally, because of Jar Jar Binks. Finally proof that being in charge does not equate with intelligence.

For all the lovers out there...

And the fans of Bwana Jon's Animal Lectures, I give you the poster on the right:



For everyone else, the poster on the left. :)

The InterWeb!

provides another forum for interesting human behavior. Tricksy Hobbitses, those humans!

Getting All Political Up In Here...

From time to time, while bored, hope rears its ugly head and I go searching the interweb for information to help me vote. The process usually hands hope a slow, painful bludgeoning, whereupon it hides in the corner playing video games and licking its wounds. If the discussion is not a freehanded, predestined, lopsided and completely interested interpretation of the latest vaguely reported news story, then it no doubt will involve the invocation of "common sense;" an all-encompassing and quite tidy ideal and abstract political theory; some form of a well-rehearsed narrative stereotyping: ("Republican Corporate Whores" and "Fascist Liberal Democrats" and now I am quoting--"hell bent on the destruction of the REPUBLIC!"*); or, 53% of the time, unsourced statistics without even a reference towards methodology or ambiguity.

So, it's kinda nice when you actually stumble upon that bane of the college freshman's existence, a Primary Source--a firsthand, comparative account of two health-care systems (British and American), with their strengths and weaknesses. Ahh, now there's a breath of fresh aire...

Both experiences underscored something for me: my growing belief that if something is important and needs to be done right, and it can't be done yourself, you better keep a close eye on the process. No one takes care of you like...you!





*(Seriously...do you really think they are out there, plotting the downfall of the nation? Because that's treason...)

epistemology

Hmmmmm....the sanctity of Google-truth is under attack? Google's search algorithms partially rely on making connections between search terms and websites using the labels that people apply to links when linking to those sites. So if a large number of people, or one person over a large number of sites, link to George W. Bush's official White House website biography with the label "miserable failure," they can influence the Google Search results for "miserable failure" to include that web page in the top 100...despite the fact that the authors of the page probably did not intend that to be the subject or that page. This is one example of a successful "Google Bomb."

The previous actually happened, as a joke. Then radical political activists caught wind of the Google Bomb.

"In the 2006 US midterm elections, many left-wing bloggers, led by MyDD.com, banded together to propel neutral or negative articles about many Republican House candidates to the top of Google searches for their names.[1] Right-wing bloggers responded similarly."

Foucoult said, "Power is knowledge." Any process of knowing something reveals and is influenced by systems of power. Or, as the conservatives would howl, "The news media is biased!"

What's interesting is that Google's techniques for providing information are reflective of associations that people make--they are generally generated unconsciously, by mapping common trends. But when the mapping techniques are known, they can be manipulated. Either way, it's sort of participatory truth manufacturing, right? Soooooo postmodern. We create the answers to Google searches, together. All hail the human hive mind!

In this case, we see the Google search algorithms, and the internet as a whole, as a sort of commons, or "public good." The Google search works accurately (to a certain point) as long as a majority of the public are sincere, transparent, and nonmanipulative. But, if a significant enough minority starts breaking the "rules" and trying to manipulate the system, it ceases to function well, for everyone. And then, to rob from Billy Madison, "truly dumber," because our collective knowing has been hijacked for selfish gain.

Four years out of COD and I'm still thinking with the Oakersonian frameworks. I think he and Dr. Perkins were the two most influential thinkers I have ever studied under.

Discussion Question
Since the systems of information gathering and dissemination intentionally or unintentionally choose and spin the information they provide, is it better to have multiple, competing, ideologically committed, knowingly subjective systems, or to have an atmosphere where diverse opinions and an attempt at editorial objectivity are expected--where the will to power is constrained by ideals of earnest discussion and cooperation?

Is it better to belong to a system where information is disseminated by organizations which wear their opinions, nay, their agendas, on their shirtsleeves, or one in which public morality demands those shirtsleeves be covered up, and in the name of gentlemanly good taste, that those men attempt to sublimate their opinions and agendas in the name of fair play and improving the public discourse?

It's my opinion that newsrooms--and Google searches, too, it appears--reflect the nature of their patrons. If we are willing to give our neighbors the benefit of a doubt when they disagree with us, we would be more willing to listen to them, and our news outlets of choice would be less one sided and propagandistic. But, since we seem to be set in our ways, resistant to new ideas, and content to enjoy ridicule, militancy, slander, and selfrighteous verbal abuse in lieu of discussion...we have what we have: institutions with lots and lots of noise, and very little public trust.

An Excellent Film

I wish Robert Redford had made this movie when I burning out towards the end of college. Basically, he plays a political science professor giving it with double barrels to some kid who is choosing cynicism, criticism and another major over engagement with the real nuts and bolts politics. During the same hour that their conversation takes place, a journalist and a senator square off over the ethics of their respective actions as the senator announces a new strategy in Afghanistan, and two young soldiers who used to be Redford's star students take part in the leading offensive of this new strategy.

To Quote:

Todd: "Well isn't that my point? Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, they can't fix things, what the hell is Todd Hayes gonna do?"
Redford; "Bitch? Quit?"
Todd: "Hey, look, I'm gonna pay my taxes, all right? I'm gonna obey traffic lights, allright?"
Redford: "I was thinking about something bigger."
Todd: "Something bigger? Bigger like what, be a congressman? Oh, yeah, super, and then I get to be one of those turds in DC--and I mean, pure pieces of ****--make our laws? I get to be a doughboy, who parts his hair on the same side as everybody else, the guy who, who never says anything even though he never stops talking? Oh, I get to be the guy who, who lecture you on morality, while the page jacks me off under the desk? Oh, yeah, please, the guy who funnels away a million that doesn't belong to him and balls like an evangelist when he gets caught. And how many never get caught, doc? Hey, if that's something bigger than being a good joe with a good job, then, ****it. Yeah, that's where you lost me."
[long pause]
Redford: "You almost convinced me. You almost convinced me that you really know what you're talking about. You're great with words, son, but you know what would make them even better, is if they had a heartbeat. If they were rooted in any kind of experience. If you had knocked on doors, licked envelopes, been to a **** public rally...just put yourself on the line in any meaningful way."

[later]

Todd: "What changed?"
Redford: "You. The students sitting across from me."
Todd: "'Cause we're more shrewd, because we see how things work, because we don't want to live and die for these pieces of ****."
Redford: "No. Because you want to put as much distance between yourselves and the real world as possible. And these, these "pieces of **** [the corrupt and powerful]," they bank on your apathy--they bank on your willful ignorance. They plan strategies around it!
Todd: "So blame me for it all. Blame me because I, I just want to live the good life, because I'm smart enough to? You're gonna blame me, because I don't want to work elbow to elbow with you on a g-----n collective farm? Doc, you're starting to sound a **** of a lot like my parents. They're always harping on me about how they worked so hard to give me the better life, and then they resent the **** out of me because I got the nerve to enjoy it."
Redford: "Todd, what good is a $90,000 Benz...if there's not only not enough gas in the tank, but the streets and the highways are decaying to the point of becoming third world? With all your rants about Congress and the government are true, if things are really bad, as bad as you say they are...when thousands of American troops are dead and more are dying every day, probably as we are speaking, you tell me, how can you enjoy the good life? Rome is burning, son. And the problem is not with the people that started it--they're past, irredeemable--the problem is with us: all of us. Who do nothing. Who just sit, and try to maneuver around the edges of the flame. Now I tell you something. There are people out there, day to day, all over the world that are fighting to make this better..."
Todd: "You think it's better to have tried and failed that to never have tried, right? But what is the difference if you end up in the same place?"
Redford: "...Well at least you did something."

[then later, in class]

Student: "C'mon, when hasn't a big house with high walls been the American dream?"
Michael Pena: "July 5th, 1776."
Derek Luke: "What about December 8th, 1941?"
Pena: September 12th, 2001?"

[later, in the office.]

Redford: "The decisions you make now, bud, can be changed...with years and years of hard work to re-do it. And in those years you become something different. Everybody does, as time passes--you get married, you get into debt...but you're never going to be the same person you are right now. And "promise," and "potential,"--it's a very fickle thing. And it just might not be there anymore...the tough thing about adulthood is that--it starts before your even know it starts: when you're already a dozen decisions into it. But what you need to know, Todd: no lifeguard's watching you anymore. You're on your own. You're your own man, and the decisions you make now are yours and yours alone from here until the end."

This is one of those movies that shows us what it is like to be part of our generation, in the flux: part of our generation and safe and not responsible, or part of our generation and courageous.

And it's really well filmed :) Watch this movie.

Recent Accomplishments, in Ascending Order of Significance

1. Acended to Near Full Time Worker status with the college, thus...

2. Actually have health (and life!) insurance!

3. Learned to read and write Arabic script, conjugate Arabic verbs in the present/incomplete tense, and assemble basic grammatical structures (also Arabic).

4. Clawed my way back into the Land Grab Top 100! (look for "wyldebeenst"--then groan with envy!)

Totally Why I Have Shin Splints

[article--isn't the New Yorker awesome?]

I didn't have them when I hiked summers and wandered around barefoot as much as possible.

And then I took jobs where boot-wearing was mandatory, and lived in a city where barefoot is dangerous. And when I started running again, midwinter...

Whammo. shin splints. I'm so lobbying for barefoot.

So. Question. Is flip-flop as good as barefoot?

David Plotz Reads the Bible

David Plotz, a lifelong practicing Jew, decided to read through the Bible after opening it while bored and stumbling into the gruesome story of the Rape of Dinah in Genesis (also known as "How to get an entire tribe to inflict terrible pain onthemselves, then slaughter them when they are helpless in their misery, even though there are two of you and lots of them; or, "Don't f**k around with the canny bastards who inherited Jacob's trickybastard genes."

So, he decided to read the Bible, and blog it. It's good reading. It's a great relief to see the sheer volume of characters God deals with in "the OT." It's good for the chronically spiritually insecure to be incapable of picking up a theme for God's chosen. They really run the gamut from passive-aggressive, wheeling/dealing, chill, righteous, absolutely unrighteous, dumb, stubborn...also, some God speaks to, and some God does not. You just can't predict who God's going to pick, and what he's going to do for them (or to them, for that matter), or whether or not they're particularly going to like it, or whether even God will keep his promises. Freddy Buechner says that the Old Testament is one tough pill to swalllow for the moralists everywhere--there's no discernible, predictable connection between the moral behavior (or intelligence, or likeability, or theology) of the actors and their general lot in life. Life just sort of happens to them, and they muddle along, and some are better than others, and they reap various practical rewards for their good behavior, sometimes, but there's just no sure way to be God's favorite.

(Oddly, also, the account has left the Barenaked Ladies' "Old Apartment" in my head: "This is where we used to live...")

Excerpt:

"Chapter 8
Another Deuteronomy line that everyone knows: "Man does not live by bread alone."

I know that President Bush is an avid Bible reader. I hope he and his speechwriters have been poring over Deuteronomy. Here's why: We don't have the resources to start another war right now, but we still need to force our enemies to behave. If Bush is drafting a speech that will scare the bejesus out of the Iranians (or perhaps, scare the bemuhammad out of them), he should look no further than the Deut. It's one long threat! A few highlights, chosen practically at random from the thunderous verses of Chapter 7 and 8.

"I warn you this day that you shall certainly perish."

or

We "shall obliterate their name from under the heavens."

or

"God will also send a plague against them, until those who are left in hiding perish before you."

or

"The Lord's anger will blaze forth against you and He will promptly wipe you out."

How do Deuteronomy's imprecations fit together with the book's sublime prayers like the Shema? They don't! And that's what confuses me. It's a Jekyll and Hyde of a book. The Shema, which orders us to love God with all our heart and mind, is quickly followed by rip-their-guts-out Saw-like cursing from God and Moses. That's how the whole book has gone so far: Gorgeous invocations to faith alternate with saber-rattling and lightning bolts. It's like a biblical good-cop, bad-cop routine. I suppose it's effective, because it keeps you off balance. In any given moment, it's not clear if you are supposed to love God or fear Him, so you'd better do both."

Moment of Free Associative Musing: The Torah is full of grandiose promises that don't get fulfilled: inheriting all the land, living in peace, multiplied by thousands upon thousands, bountiful harvests, utter destruction, etc, etc... It reminds me of all the Arabists and Middle Eastern experts who explain that honest liberal-minded moderates cannot govern Iraq--you have to have larger-than-life sheikhs with flowery rhetoric and iron fists, you have to make grandiose promises that you cannot possibly keep, you have to wheedle and deal and be dishonest and play factions off against each other, you have inspire fear in your enemies and be fiercely loyal to your friends, right or wrong. Sounds a lot like God and Moses and the patriarchs.

Flickr SafeSearch

Flickr SafeSearch blocked my attempt to view this image, which I will post very far down on the page so that you don't have to see it by accident. Eileen reminds me that normal non-EMT people see blood and guts and are inspired to more to nausea and revulsion than morbid curiosity.

At any rate, after verifying with Flickr that yes, in fact, I wanted to actually see this picture (which I was attempting to access after having already seen the picture, posted to an archive of the excellent and thrice-worthy-of-mention Luke's Commonplace Book) I got a picture with a full story--the tragically low arc of this man's life, from his youth on the streets to his adulthood, still on the streets. And, I'm thinking, how can you turn away from this? This is, as one of the commentors put, what "man does to man," and it's become my norm for the world. This is humanity, as I see it, and it's why I post things like this.

So, anyway, there at the top there, Flickr let's you choose to bail out. Eeeeeep! Don't want to see that! Hoy crap! I like my sanitized version of the world, thank you. I don't want to think about people like that, situations like that, crippled kids or those born brain dead or nursing-home-farms or nasty crap. I don't want the ugly stuff of life, just the nice and uplifting. Show me the kittens, baby! It's the new motto for the self-obsessed, the snobbish, the comfortable. Which is, oddly, a lot like shooting up heroin to ignore the sickness and the pain, except that heroin is incredibly addictive biologically, and drowning out the ugly is easier, cheaper, and only psychologically compulsive.

I rant. Here is your picture. This is what the world looks like to me, except add in equal parts Alzheimer's patients in restraints lining the hallways like forgotten children in nursing homes, belligerent and helpless psychiatric patients, 90 year-old grandmothers with bedsores the size of my face in houses with 60-inch flatscreens, and very small, very dead children. And here's a link to the Flickr page, with accompanying story. Sorry, Tegan, if I'm having a hard time hearing God's sweetness and light, lately, he's making such a great effort to be heard above the noise. It's fucked-up-psalm-day, not theological-correctness-psalm-day, maybe i just wanted a hug. And God's not showing up with a lot of those, either.

Thoughts?

"Some firms wouldn't hire me--they'd probably seen the name Bob Jones University on my resume and figured, "If the school can't even call itself Robert Jones University, how bright can its graduates be?" "

"Me and Mr. Jones," a reflection on living and leaving the Bob Jones lifestyle.

"By the time I joined my law firm, no one could have guessed at my past. I had stopped attending church and begun paying fifteen dollars for a single lipstick. I worked a "man's job" and decided to wait to have babies. I fiew to Vegas to play slots with my father. Any of these was enough to doom my soul, but life felt too good, as the preachers had warned, and I couldn't stop. This transformation still comes at a price. I haven't enjoyed a success or a pleasure or a new song without suspecting that the sin was being recorded somewhere to be used against me someday. Fun still unsettles me inside.

"Today, I'm on a partnership track in a top-tier law firm...Now I give advice to Fortune 500 corporations and green-light million-dollar deals. Savvy businessmen respect my opinion. They don't know that I still wake up screaming sometimes. The world is a scary place, and in my dreams I'm still protected. In my dreams, I'm still at Bob Jones, the place where everything turns out right. That's a feeling any person would want. When I see conservative Muslims or Orthodox Jews on the street, Branch Davidians on TV, baby cousins at my family reunion, I can see they've been promised that feeling, too. Under the right circumstances, that promise can be the most powerful thing in the world. Under the right circumstances, you'll do anything for that promise."

In the midst of smatterings of the normal trasnfers, traffic snafus, asthmatics and cuckoo binge drinkers, Barrett and I managed to have the incredible luck of having to do not one, but two "confirmations"--where we arrive far too late and can do nothing but confirm that the patient is already gone and we can't do anything. One 90-ish year old guy, one thirty-ish year old woman. You think it would make a difference, the one being full up with years like Abraham, the other young and mysteriously, unaccountably gone, but the family's faces and tears were the same.

So you look around the house, and they both had their inner-city apartment walls covered in copious amounts of Jesus Crap from the Christian bookstore. So what do you say to the bereaved? We're sorry for your loss. It looks like he was a good man. It looks like she was a good woman. They were on speaking terms with the Big Guy. They're with Jesus now.

But, I, as always, wonder: what if the sunny children and "God Watches Over This House" plaques and eerily matching "When God Closes a Door He Always Opens Another" posters with the little kitten on them were the wife's, and the old man hated it until the day he cursed his last? What if the religious young woman was the worst kind of tyrant? What if the young men were crying because they did not know how to think about the not-so-dearly beloved, what if they were remembering with disappointment that all they had to remember from father or mother or sister was abuse, tyrrany, and rampant egotism.

Something deep inside me is reminding me it's not very good to speak ill of the dead.

And what do I believe, anyway, about this going to be with Jesus when we die? About the chances of resurrection, about he qualifications for eternal life? I'm certainly not on "good speaking terms" with the big guy. I think he's kind of an absentee jerk, in fact, but I'm not about to say it because, hey, my life is still pretty sweet, and there's this big, big payoff for swallowing your questions and toeing the line, so they say, and not much of one at all for saying, "Fuckit, this shit's ridiculous, I'm going to go blow my meaningless life at [pick your empty existentialist excuse for a dull, self-involved, neurotic pasttime]." (Note to self: thank Lewis and Chesterton for taking all the thrill and promise out of hedonism.)

And, hey, I don't even know who I'm talking about, anyway...he doesn't really pop up and endorse particular theologies every November like our good Republican presidential candidates.

Well, this is what that living in a moral vacuum feels like. Gee, it sucks. There must be an alternative...unless you're not sincerely convinced the world isn't a moral vacuum. So do you pretend? Especially if you're pretty sure that people who are convinced that the world is not a moral vacuum are essentially happier, and generally better, people--except when they find themselves incapable of convincing themselves anymore and fall apart into the cynical, the bitter, and the burnt out?

Thoughts and musings...

too amazing not to post

the visual arts meet the statistical...arts.

Dan's Thinking About War Again...

found some right excellent writing. good style, good hands-on info into the soft war on terror. very intercultural, very insightful. Read:

I began to wonder – and not for the first time - where the hundreds of men down the hall, currently employed by the Iraqi government and the United States Army, had been one year ago, before the Reconciliation. Before the Sawha. I was fairly certain to the answer to my question was caked in AK-47 gun powder and dripped with American blood. I trusted that some of the Sheiks truly believed in freedom, if not for their country, at least for their neighborhoods and for their people. Did their pipeswingers? Did these paramilitants believe in anything beyond the promise of a monthly stipend … and should they even have to? Can someone with a full stomach and a warm bed ever rightfully doubt the intentions and ideals of those without, who are seeking the same thing through whatever means present themselves?

I didn’t know the answers to these questions. Not yet, at least. So I began to type what I did know.

[ahem]

So, tomorrow I am taking a rather important test: the National Criminal Justice Officer Selection Inventory, as phase one in my attempt to become a New York State Trooper. It's a pretty important test. I could use a good job. And, hey, I'd look pretty awesome in the uniform. We'll see what happens...