29 July 2006

Real Sex

[it's a book by Lauren F. Winner]

I was once asked what I would say to a friend whom I knew was having premarital sex; I told my interlocutor that the first step in speaking to my friends about sex was making sure that we enjoyed relationships built on top of hundreds of ordinary shared experiences--plays attended together and pumpkins carved together and accompanying one another on doctor's appointments and changing the oil together. To say this is not to side-step the question. Community doesn't come about simply by having hard, intimate conversations. Having hard, intimate conversations is part of what is possible when people are already opening up their day-to-day lives to one another."


In a nutshell, what I miss most about the Tanzania program and working with Wilderness Adventures.

27 July 2006

yo donald miller

already there buddy--coming up on renewal for my first year's subscription!

check out what Donald Miller has to say about news magazines

ummm....it's been a crazy busy couple of weeks. any and all progress in fields other than my fourtteen Bridge students has come to a complete stop. i am exhausted.

but I got to go to the Counting Crows/Goo Goo Dolls concert last weekend, and play in Wiscoy again, and play Settlers, and Dan Sahli's been stopping by this weekend to hang out and shoot the...

oh, right, still not employing the extended vocabulary with students around. but I'm going to Buffalo this weekend for Shakespeare in the Park, and that means off-campus rules apply. hmmmm...can you say fruit of the vine?

hey, check out how ridiculously high-powered Paul's camera is. you can see individual drops of Wiscoy Creek on my face.

18 July 2006

excitement

So I almost died this weekend. Wiscoy Creek was running higher than I had ever played in it before (I've seen it higher, and quite rightly decided not to tempt God to bring me home early), so naturally we frolicked in the rushing dancing water and climbed the waterfalls. Of course I tried to fight the current and touch the middle of the middle falls, and of course it swept me away in my hubris and I had to act quickly to avoid the lower falls. It looked a lot nearer a call than it really was, which of course had the desired affect of impressing the women. Or convincing them that evolutionarily speaking, my genes are right on par with those of the dodo.

Needless to say it was an awesome day. I don't know why God made summer in New York so bloody hot and humid, but so long as there are waterfalls and streams and rivers aplenty, I'll not complain too loudly. I think the highlight of the last few weeks has been meandering along Houghton Creek in the heat of the afternoon.

And that's not the only reason my grin-to-scowl ratio is greatly elevated from last year's norm--I am indescribably happy to be a part of a community again. My employer informed me the other day that my job description could be summed up in the simple phrase: "Be Dan Holcomb." I love the feeling that I'm actually integral and important and doing something few other people could do. Yes it makes me happy.

What also makes me happy is, though there are fewer friends in my life these days, I have never tasted of such quality fellowship--I am blessed to know some amazing people, and occasionally they stop by Houghton for an hour or two of fine coffe and simply phenomenal cinnamon rolls at the Daily Grind. Sometimes in a conversation you can find a part of yourself after long estrangement.

And, finally, a lighter note of circumstance: I think maybe I have located the Bush Whacker's* soul mate. Unfortunately, I was on the way to pick up my students from internship so I couldn't wait around for this particular Jeep's owner to show up...but I got a picture:




*Bush Whacker: Jeep belonging to the twilighttreader, similarly decorated with eccentric leftist bumperstickers and often the target of animosity from police officers and angry conservatives.

--Later Edit--

So here's how I abuse office hours:

I was pondering Nietzsche:

"Whoever fights monsters
should see to it that
in the process he does not
become a monster.
And when you look long into
the abyss, the abyss also looks
into you"


And I decided to see what the context was, hoping for a larger paragraph on the nature of knowledge, self-exploration, the depravity of humanity in general, etc. Unfortunately, the larger context is a collection of "Aphorisms and Interludes," so there is no exploration of the idea--unless you count, of course, the body of his work and eventual suicide. But I digress. In the name of a chuckle, I give you the context of his quite remarkable statement: women.

"131

The sexes deceive themselves about one another: the reason being that fundamentally they love and honour only themselves (or their own ideal, to express it more pleasantly‑). Thus man wants woman to be peaceful ‑ but woman is essentially unpeaceful, like the cat, however well she may have trained herself to present an appearance of peace."


and a little later...

"144

When a woman has scholarly inclinations there is usually something wrong with her sexuality. Unfruitfulness itself disposes one to a certain masculinity of taste; for man is, if I may be allowed to say so, `the unfruitful animal'.

145

Comparing man and woman in general one may say: woman would not have the genius for finery if she did not have the instinct for the secondary role.

146

He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you."


And a little later, a meditation on love:

"153

That which is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil."


hmmm...peculiar. people call me a chauvanist.

16 July 2006

lonely roads

so on a star lit night I complained to that wise frood* of the woodlands Alex the Scott:

man, I'm so fricken' bizarre that not only do I not fit into normal society, but even the strange ones don't really know what to do with me. I feel pretty lonely freakish right now; pretty cut off.

to which he replied...

dude, you're in the company of the best of men. what great rocker or poet or thinker hasn't quested his way from the ordinary to the strange and found himself deep in the proverbial woods?

and he sang,

"I walk a lonely road/the only one that I have ever known/don't know where it goes/but it's only me/and I walk alone..."

so I'm listening to Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams again, still as bold and fresh a CD as when I heard it in a very dry place last summer. "ring out the bells again/like we did when spring began...here comes the rain again/falling from the stars/drenched in pain again/becoming who we are"

JRR Tolkein's words are on the back of my new STEP t-shirt:

"Not all who wander are lost."



----





*from the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase which has passed into hitch hiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; Hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)

10 July 2006

office hours

one of my students asked me what my hourly wage was last night and I laughed. Up at 7:00 am, to bed around 11:30 pm, there's no way they'd be paying me by the hour. What am I getting paid anyway?

So, my office hours/daily repose stretches from breakfast at 8:30 a.m. to the staff meeting at 11:00 am, Monday through Friday. Mug of coffee, notebook, and blogsurfing. And G-Mail Messaging. Forget this hiking stuff!

So. Viva Italia! Zidane must learn some self-control, it seems...

LiveJournal Username
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest!
Cutlass or pistol?
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Where is your secret pirate base?
What kind of loot do you prefer?
What do you and your crew prefer to be called?
Parrot or monkey?
Argh!
Your capable first matetwilighttreader
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Is always the first one into the fraytwilighttreader
Is the naval officer who ruthlessly pursues your shiptwilighttreader
Is the comical pirate who is always drunk on grogtwilighttreader
Is currently in Davy Jones's lockertwilighttreader
The amount of money you make as a pirate$96,504
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05 July 2006

gee golly whillickers

So I really ought to have kept my mouth shut. Sera's compressor fell off at the drive in--it's a good thing I found it before it started doing laps around the fan belt and banging into other, more important parts of the engine. Can you believe my little baby actually had air conditioning? So, she's resting until I can get my grubby paws on a ratchet set...I knew I shouldn't have put off getting one...

And, in other bad news, I recieved my first bit of spam at my gmail address that I reserved for friends and family and never used for commercial or business purposes. Drat.

Well. UB staff training is rockin' along merrily, and this weekend we're going to the drive-in for Pirates of the Caribbean II with a whole plethora of STEP and UB and Houghton-ish people. Next week we get students!

01 July 2006

clean and new

I moved out of my home in Buffalo exactly a month ago. 2,187 miles and nine beds later, I'm temporarily bunked on Ethan's bed in Leonard Houghton 23. So I have internet for a moment. And for all the naysayers--that's 2,187 miles on my sweet old pickup without a single hiccup. Take your shiny Fords and your plasticky Escalades and go home.



I just got out of the woods--a week of living outside in the rain, coddling flatlander softies and cajoling the tremulous into pushing themselves. I am so deeply and profoundly happy to be working not just with my hands, but with my heart.
Happy, happy, happy. My students actually begged me to lullaby them to sleep at night. I talked people up rope ladders and down zip lines and through puzzles and mazes and initiatives and built fires. What more could you ask for?



So I went home twice for various celebrations of my brother's escaping high school, and discovered the joy of Lord of the Rings miniatures strategy gaming and promptly played two straight all-nighters before settling for gaming only during twilight hours. The Men of Minas Tirith will hold fast!



And I got a satisfyingly bloody week of work in Buffalo, replete with two gunshots, an incredibly messy car wreck (see ambulance below, after brisk swabbing with towels), and of course the obligatory drunk guys.

Well. It's Houghton for me for the summer, with the Upward Bound students. I'm off to a barbeque tonight, and staff training tomorrow. Cheers!

04 June 2006

sunny meanders

hmmm...just found this draft while sorting through the old stuff. i wrote it one year and five days ago, so I guess I'm marking my one-year anniversary as a Houghton returnee. wow.

dlh

ps--and Sera is still tickin' along! wooot! woot!


----------------------------------------






So it's good-bye Buffalo. I got to visit the airport on my last night at work, for some poor girl who fell out of an airplane and dislocated her hip. So I have one more sure-fire winner in the "Have You Ever?" game: Have you ever driven on the runway of an international airport? With a police escort? I don't think so. Drink up!

The Stronghold is packed and gone. Sean is moving into my room, and I am back on the road. I have a traveling chest now, with all the stickers I could find slapped on the outside, and pictures and notes taped to the inside lid. A mini-stronghold, with natrually more books and pens and torn-up-cereal-box notebooks than clothes...unless you count the wool socks.

I'm sitting at home, listening to Colin Hay. It's still home, even though I haven't lived here in four years. I think it's the curtains. When you put curtains up, when you start attending to decoration, you're committing to a place and a time. Home in Detroit is the last place I lived with curtains, and here I am sleeping in a real bed and eating meals that have multiple dishes. What a lark!

Still I am transient. I am at home and home will always be home--but I don't really exist here. My family and friends have work and school and chores and the kind of small talk visitors on holiday are not involved in. I have all the time in the world to sleep, and three books lie open next to my bed, and I am sitting paused in front of an empty screen. Words are reluctant, sentences tentative, and I am doing a lot of waiting for nothing in particular.

In a week, maybe two, I will be off for another curtainless room in Houghton. My identity will change again. I do not know how stressful it will be--or how deeply I will alter my habits of presentation. What new Dan Holcomb will emerge between me and my new co-workers? I wonder how recognizeable I will be to co-workers who have known me before. I wonder how recognizeable I am now to older friends from home. Will I know myself in this new place? Already my thoughts have grown turbulent around bringing the tougher, harsher man I have become in the nights on Buffalo streets home to mother and church.

I've been sleeping for the past eight months with a collection of old notebooks and journals on the bookshelves over my head. I haven't read through them in, oh, over a year. Part of me thinks I should--it's a semi-regular custom. Part of me doesn't want to. I've even been shying away from perusing the prior parts of my current journal when I'm opening it to write--something I haven't done in a little while. I'm strangely hesitant about anything committal, and putting words down on paper is a committment if you're a packrat like me. Those words will be there, in a journal I plan on keeping until I die.

What's keeping my hands hovering near but never opening those old books? Is it that there's no turning back? It won't be my friends and family not recognizing the me I've become. It won't be new acquaintances confused about the shape of my face and the color of my language. It'll be a younger me staring back appraisingly.

I'm not at all sure I'll recognize myself. It might grate in the unpleasant taste of the bargain I've struck with my current circumstances, stick it in the back of my mouth where I can't get at it and can't get it out of the way of a fragile peace I've made with a pretty uncompromising adult world. Maybe that's the fracture in the foundation that's unsettling this curtainless house with its empty rooms in my head...

Are these thoughts mine? Am I really at conflict with myself? Is something implicit in me warring with something explicit and important in my life? Am I walking a line between pragmatism and capitulation? Am I wishing I could find that line marked tight and clear?

This writing thing is scary. This identity thing is scarier. I am wondering how stable and endurirng and faithful the "I" is. Am I learning and growing, or or just adapting to the moment? I don't like feeling adrift and disconnected, removed a short distance even from the life of my old community at home. I don't like that eerie mercurial sense of personal transience that I get in between communities, in between lives.

But I really don't like the thought of burying it, unresolved, in the generation of a new noisy rhythmic busy life. I don't like the thought that I may remain unchanged, unresolved, subsumed into some quieting patterns and distracting tasks, something insubstantial into an identity in need of something solid and true.

14 May 2006

housekeeping

is painful. behold, my room, the many-piled domain of entropy. at least I found my watch.

experiences of the weekend have validated previous observations that balconies are superior to porches and, indeed, many other manifestations of architecture. in more than just the literal sense. my conclusion draws its support not just from a multitude of daytime sunshine and evening conversation upon my balcony, but the same from Kat and Paul's balcony as well. indeed, it seems that the older and more worn a balcony is (and, perhaps, the more precarious), the better. additionally discovered over a weekend of graduation in Houghton, is that balconies are wonderful places to sit in the cool of the evening and listen to Great Big Sea.

balconies also maintain a better entropy than rooms. between the wind and the rain, that which is untended is caught up into a more natural and unsuspended entropy than that which is left in enclosed spaces. there is no artificial prolongation, no long, haunting empty shell clinging motionless.

and that is the rambling of the day.

--

I have decided to continue this round-table political discussion in a place where it will not consume my rather limited creative space here. Abbreviated ponderances and succint considerations on the reified nature of "government" in this debate, whether or not "governments" have a responsibility to act, and if the focus of "righteousness" is personal piety or communal action, will follow in short notice as time permits.

09 May 2006

For a good conversation...

You wrote that at 7:54 am? AM? I'm lucky if I can remember to put my clothes on forwards at 7:54 am...--Tegan

Yes, dear Tegan, but I am just getting off work at 7:54 am, so my clothes are already on and generally forwards.

...UN...---Just About Everybody

I find this interesting--I think perhaps you who mentioned this are reacting to what you expect to hear...erroneously anticipating the arguement. I never once mentioned the UN in my last post. What I did argue is that governments wield unique capacities to act and responsibilities that individuals, and groups, do not and should not hold. For instance, the governments of the world have created a system by which cruel and abusive dictators, such as Charles Taylor and Slobodan Milosevic, can be brought to justice--something else no individual or non-governmental organization can accomplish. Notice, you alluded to the successful humanitarian intervention to the tsunami by nation-states: Australia and America. The relief could not have been achieved without the close interaction between the governments and the ubiquitous NGOs--non-governmental organizations. NGO's played a vital role--but so did governments. NGOs cannot negotiate trade treaties, tamper with the international and national economy, or help bring stability and peace to anarchic and semi-anarchic situations.

I could care less whether the United Nations or an ad-hoc coalition of the willing are the medium for actions that cannot be accomplished nongovernmentally. Please be careful to read what I write--not what you automatically assume your fallen liberal relative enshrines in the warm and fuzzy cloud world of his ideology. I am not an ideological liberal. I am a practical humanitarian discovering that classic American conservative thought is simply not compatible with the teachings of Jesus Christ.

...impose utopia...

(see above) I never claimed to attempt to impose utopia. What I am trying to do is have active compassion for my neighbor by attempting to establish some semblance of justice and peace in places where people are suffering and dying for the lack. Please don't try and make me into some idea of a cardboard cutout grinning liberal that exists in your head. It demeans the both of us.

The fact that many of the material goods we buy were made elsewhere: who would pay those people for anything if they could not sell things to those Americans who have money to pay? Would they be richer or poorer if no American money was spent in their countries?

Let's creatively rephrase that question. "They should be greatful, those miserable bastards, that we give them anything at all for their lost childhoods, destroyed health, shortened life expectency, miserable working conditions, constant fear of unemployment..."

You have not yet opened your mind to the possibility that the urban poor are a result of economic changes in the world--changes forced by powerful economies in the west (that's you, and me, and everyone we know). The very existence of western economic superpowers and international trade produces changes in national and local economies. Quasi-subsistence farming becomes untenable. Western firms, with capital, introduce mass-production farming, edging small-plot farmers into poverty. The livelihood of hundreds of families becomes the livelihood of a manager, a few tractors and a score of hired hands. Where do those families go? They cannot compete, so they have no way to make bread. No money to send their children to school with. No land, because corporations take what they cannot buy, harnessing their economic power to secure political power through the cooperation of corrupt local officials.

During the Industrial Revolution in Great Britain, the problem was apparent--the abuse of cheap labor, unhealthy working conditions, minor miners, etc.--were next door. So Christians made a stink and the government changed the rules. Now, the injustice is easier to ignore because it is far away--but it is still our problem. We are involved in it, it is wrong, so why are the Christians like you doing nothing to change it?

Is it bad or good that Americans buy cotton which is grown in the US? Is it bad or good for the government to tinker with the market by subsidizing a crop in that way?

I believe in freedom. Americans should be able to buy cotton grown in the US if they so desire. I don't belive there is, ethically, any inherent justice or injustice in either subsidization and economic control or the laissez faire. I do believe, however, that there is something injust about the use of power to benefit one person or group of persons at the expense of another person or group of persons. That is what angers me about the United States--not that she is rich, or powerful, but that she bases that wealth upon injustice and uses that power to further her wealth at the expense of others. Sometimes to their detrimental and impoverishing expense. Sometimes to the point of impoverishing other countries and destabilizing their economies.

Since when did governments ever do anything but tax people, blow things up, and punish those who disobeyed their (the government's) rules? Can you think of even one instance where the government has been successful in "fixing" anything like you suggest it has the power to?

and

How do government offices visit people in prison, train people to become self-reliant?

You are apparently suffering from a critical lack of imagination. I work for a government-funded agency that provided emergency medical care within eight minutes of a telephone call. We work with government-funded people who will put out any fires that threaten your house and property. Your water is delivered to your tap, clean and drinkable, by the government, and whisked away to be safely recycled by the same government, after you've used it. The government makes sure you have a nice, green, oxygen-producing national forest to go to so that you don't have to vacation someplace paved. I went to college and learned self-reliance in part due to a government loan. The library that you enjoy was made possible...by the government. Government job-retraining projects were part of the conservative welfare revolution that decreased the welfare roles and made more people...self-reliant. This is a short list. Stretch your mind a little.

Let's look internationally. National governments have cooperated to put both Slobodan Milosevic and Charles Taylor on trial for the crimes they commited while they were in positions of power. Until recently, national governments cooperated to stop the proliferation and use of nuclear weapons, a hazard to us all. It was the United States government, acting in concert with other nations, that acted so ably to assist those devastated by the December 2004 Tsunami. National governments participated in an international ban on the trade of ivory, stemming the demand that drove both and elephants and rhinocerouses almost to extinction. Governments and coalitions can provide a neutral force to enforce cease-fires, disarm warlords of their private armies and return power to more representative, less thuggishly self-serving governments, and defend neutral places such as refugee camps where noncombatants can live safely and recieve medical attention, clean water, and food.

And finally...the United Nations (I will finally bring her into the discussion) regulates and overseas the internet internationally so that Jeff can join this discussion from Tanzania. It does so with such effectiveness--that you didn't even know it was involved.

Next, I don't see why you as an individual couldn't get together a group of like-minded people and find a way to smuggle in food, water, and medical care to hurting people. If others are smuggling weapons, bullets, bombs, and other such truck into the country, why can't someone smuggle in the things those people really need?

Again, you suffer from a lack of imagination. You cannot smuggle in healthcare, education when there is no peace. People cannot carry on with life when they live in the constant and real fear that someone is going to ride into town, take their food and belongings, rape their women, and force their children to execute their parents and grandparents. This is not hypothetical--this is actual, documented, widespread.

You cannot smuggle in peace. Nor can you smuggle in economic justice and opportunity when governments and organizations with money, guns, and the power they bring are happily taking part in economic injustice at the expense of people's economic opportunity. Not to mention the economic and political injustice that we, the world's most powerful nation, are actively involved in.

You said intervening personally would get you killed. So? The Iron Curtain came down because individuals stood up for their faith, got imprisoned, slain, were beaten, and somebody managed to get out and tell about it. If nobody has the guts to get imprisoned, then who will the government send to act on their behalf?

No. The Iron Curtain fell because it was opposed and considered unjust by many people, including Ronald Reagan, a head of state who used the power of both the United States government and coalitions of other national governments to resist, undermine, and promote change within the Communist Bloc. People had been standing up for their ideas, and dying in droves, for a long time before the Iron Curtain fell.

Additionally, it's not a matter about having the guts to be imprisoned for some lofty ideal. It's about wanting to be live in peace and instead being subjected to anarchy, genocide, banditry, rape, slavery, child-soldiering, and famine, but not being able to do anything about it. Those who "stand up" for anything against armed mobs lay down quite quickly and permanently and those in power do not care. In the Iron Curtain, they learned to care, because even in the Iron Curtain it was unacceptable to openly slay large segments of the populace. Not so in anarchy and failed states.

And Finally...

As for Christian symbolism, Jesus didn't appeal to the government to fix anything. He appealed to the people, the people who had nothing, to be generous with each other. Jesus didn't preach to the rich, he spoke to the poor, the needy, and the destitute. He advocated a world without government, not a world with the perfect one. He advocated a world in which everyone was self-governing.

Does your Jesus speak to Lazarus about embezzlement and abuse of tax-gathering status? Does not your Jesus advise wealthy young men from Arimathea? Were there not bureaucrats and centurions in thoselarge crowds of people? Wasn't Jesus' ministry supported by a group of wealthy women? Does the Jesus you know address the injustice of women being stoned for being found in adultery...while the man with whom she was committing adultery was not being stoned? Does he not say "Render onto Caesar what is Caesar's"?

Remember that Jesus lived in an occupied country where religious courts handled much of the day to day governance, and Jesus had an awful lot to say to those religious leaders about their justice and their concern for the poor and helpless. Remember that the national government was not a democracy, but a puppet monarchy, in which the people had no say whatsoever. Remember that economies were to a larger extent simple and local, without the massive centralization of power and resources that exists today.

08 May 2006

lettin' ya'll sit in around the infamous Holcomb dinner table

What's with this recurring theme that because we in America have it good someone else has to be getting the short end of the stick? I never understood that thought process and still don't.

Also I think getting into situations in other countries militarily, providing the situation isn't really effecting the US, is getting into a fight that was never ours in the first place. Personally going and trying to help solve the problems that these troubled peoples have is the best way to show compassion in my book.

It's just too easy to sit back and say, "that's too bad, we should send the government in to fix it . . ." Especially when there is plenty of junk going on here at home that needs fixing.

Anyway, my two bits.

David



Dear David,

excellent questions. Here are my responses:

i) people around the world are obviously and continually getting the short end of the stick. Americans are obviously, in a material and political sense, ridiculously and incomparably wealthy, with only Europe for comparison. You are arguing from a standpoint where the two can be separated. I, along with good Marxists everywhere, argue that they cannot, especially when you consider how interconnected the world economy is.

Almost everything you wear today is made somewhere else. Taiwan, Indonesia, Malaysia, just read the tags. Taiwan, economically and politically, is doing all right. Indonesia and Malaysia...not so much. The reason the American clothing market can function with the opulence that it does is sheerly because children under the age of twelve work in sweatshops for a pittance This is the ugly truth about the world economy: people with power can exploit people without power in order to make more money for themselves. During my research on agricultural subsidies, I discovered that American cotton growers were being paid to the tune of billions of dollars by the federal government to grow cotton. This allowed them to charge ridiculously low prices, driving North African cotton growers into poverty and bankruptcy--wreaking havoc on their already fragile economies. All so that Americans could have the most prosperous and successful economy in the world.

If you ever want an interesting conversation, I will give you my friend Tegan's phone number; ask her why she does not wear a diamond engagement ring. She is rather passionate about the awful and quite hazardous conditions that exist in diamond mines in Africa, the disproportionally ridiculously low wages the workers are paid, and the integral role diamonds play in the illegal arms trade--a trade which results in massive amounts of AK-47s and bullets which end up in places like Rwanda and the Sudan. Which brings me, after a short digression, to your second question.

--short digression--As I hope I made clear, you cannot separate our prosperous economy here from suffering and misery over there. It does not aid matters that our political power is brought to bear on foreign economies in order to gain preferential and often unfair advantages for our economy. American's are demanding "fair prices at the pumps" when in reality, we enjoy some of the lowest gas prices in the world, due to effective diplomacy and interference in the affairs of foreign powers. Also consider South America, where the United States felt free to meddle in the seventies, eighties, and nineties, assisting in the toppling of governments and tinkering with their economies. If their problems can not be justly laid at our doorstep, we can at least admit to playing a significant role in their creation. We are inextricably linked to the rest of the world, and while our prosperity and wealth and peace are good things, they are not good things if they exist because of unjust relationships with other nations and the abuse of power and position. A great South American painter once portrayed a successful executive in his well-panelled office, behind the stereotypical massive desk. But his desk was not held up by wooden drawers and legs--it rested on the backs of shackled and crippled poor people. Does our prosperity rest on the back of shackled and crippled poor people? You as a Christian should be immediately concerned at this prospect, for whether across the street or over the sea, the poor are your neighbors--this Jesus was adamant about.

But that is digression. What is point nubmer ii? It had to do with AK-47's, I believe.

ii) Once more we arrive at the issue of power. People with guns have power that people without them do not have. People with governments have power that people alone do not have. With that power comes an ability that transcends the power of the individual. I, as an individual, am powerless to stop a bullet or a bomb or a torch from setting fire to a hut. As an individual with a gun, I can perhaps kill a few people, but I cannot prevent the government of the Sudan from funding these janjaweed militias and I will not last long against any concerted group. And as an individual, I cannot stop the illegal international arms trade, that puts guns and machetes into the hands of mobs everywhere. And I, as an individual, cannot set up a hospital or a safe zone or a refugee camp--I have no power to do so.

But governments do. Governments exist because there are things that established authority can do that individuals cannot: regulate competing interest, protect the weak from the strong, provide education and healthcare to those who cannot afford it. Governments can also protect "public goods" (things like clean air and water, public safety, national forests) that can be destroyed or taken from everyone by individuals or small groups.

Individuals in destabilized countries such as Somalia and certain regions of the Sudan, as well as in Rwanda during the genocide, have no choices--they cannot choose to live in peace or choose to not pollute their wells or choose to live healthy lifestyles with good medical care. Those things are taken from them by individuals and small groups of people with power--economic power, and the power that comes from wielding armed force. They can chose to take up arms--if they are available--and fight with one group or another, but they cannot choose to live in peace unless they live under a stable government who has an interest in their peace.

I cannot as an individual do anything about that. I cannot even feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the lonely and imprisoned, give the thirsty clean water, or care for those in need of medical attention--because governments and gangs and ideologues will kill and/or rob both me and the people I would try to help.

But governments--and leagues of governments--can stop the illegal arms trade, denying militias like the janjaweed access to the basic element of their power: bullets. They can pressure corrupt indifferent governments to become governments interested in the welfare of their people. They can provide safe-zones for refugees and protect aid convoys and delivery zones. They can not only pray for the peace of the proverbial Jerusalem, but actually do something about it.

I am intentionally adopting the language and imagery of the Christian Scriptures because I am trying to remind you of the Christian imperative to love, and serve, our neighbors; to champion the cause of the helpless and the poor. Christ is not a capitalist; he is not an American; and most importantly, he does not believe in leaving people to their own devices or their own messes. Rather, in the midst of our mess, he left Heaven to come help us reconcile to each other and God and heal this wounded world. For his pains he was ignored, villified, and painfully put to death--yet He came with aid anyway, and continues to this day working to usher in a Kingdom of Heaven, a place without injustice, hatred, war, death, plague, inequality or famine. It was the hope of this kingdom that propelled him during his earthly ministry, and it was the proclamation of that kingdom that he made the focal point of that ministry. He described his mission as bringing healing to the sick, freedom to the captives, good news to the poor people, and wholeness to the brokenhearted, all wrapped up in the favorable year of the Lord. And he left hanging unsaid the next verse which rang in the memory of his audience: ...and the day of the vengeance of our God.

The vengeance is easy to find in the works of the prophets, from Amos to Isaiah. It is vengeance upon the wealthy and powerful who exploit and abuse the helpless. Read the prophets and see how often the welfare of the helpless--"the widows and fatherless"--is God's cetral, sorrowful, angry theme. The rich rarely do well in the prophets, and we are the richest in the world today. Even we, little brother, of modest and unostentatious means among our fellow Americans, are wealthy beyond compare in the eyes of two-thirds of the world's six billion people. We ought to bear our wealth carefully, as those who will give an account of our actions as stewards to a master with a fondness for charity and involvement in the cause of the helpless.

Sincerely,
Dan

03 May 2006

letters to family and friends

dear steve--

let me reiterate: this gentleman prosposed nuclear genocide, the armed appropriation of others' resources, the merciless execution without trial both of "terrorists" and their innocent families, all for the sake of a more comfortable and prosperous American existence with no regard to the expense the rest of the world is forced to bear in order to make that existence comfortable.

that is neither acceptable, practical, nor tenable. its only tenuous connection with the term "solution" is that which can be drawn to ideas such as "The Final Solution."

also, as Tegan put excellently and I shall briefly reiterate, the "problem" is not bad guys fighting bad guys, but the attendant famine, disease, rape, pillage, slaughter, conscription of children into armies, and horrible cost borne by those who have conflict thrust upon them.

this is not a war of armies. this is a war of mobs of men (and children) with guns. there is no optional involvement: you don't choose to lose access to medical care, food, your own land, your life, your family. the people with the guns chose for you. fight and die, or run and die, there are you options. the world is not as pretty and safe as life in America. they can't "just get a job" over there.

so, "tying up our military to solve other people's problems" is more like "sending our armed forces into harms way to protect those who cannot protect themselves" and takiing an effort to tend to the helpless and suffering--sounds a bit like widows and fatherless that the old testament prophets got all bent out of shape about. refugees and malaria patients and the like.

your militant liberal brother,
dan



jeffrey--
thank you for some salient points. as usual, while i remain in the realm of rhetoric and theory, you actually have some concrete historical data. bravo, I shall have to tame my biting criticism of the evil American capitalists for the moment.

and good thought about that ticket...

your sheepishly militant liberal brother,
dan



dear self--
the most amazing conclusion that i have drawn from this little exchange is the revalation that this blue-collar American advocated a morality that was actually more despicable than that of a standard jihading terrorist. let me reiterate: death squads, summary execution of family members, nuclear warfare...

at least a suicide bomber has some notion of self-sacrifice for a greater good while defending home and country. at least he claims some sort of moral code.

perhaps the logic of a terrorist is not that difficult or alien to our civilized way of life as we would like to believe. I may be "peevishly self-involved," but I also may be closer to genuine evil that I'd like to believe.

self



and finally, on a lighter and more important note

dear gustav and fellow pennsylvanians,

i extend my sincere condolences for the psychological trauma you must have experienced last night. while it was my hope that our own Buffalo Sabres would find victory in your hallowed arena last night, we did not in our wildest dreams anticipate the most humiliating drubbing your Philadelphia Flyers were made to endure in their own horrifyingly hushed stadium last night. three unanswered goals in the first fifteen minutes of game time was really a tough blow, but when your first goal of the night, just before the end of the second quarter, was immediately answered with our sixth of the night, that was just cruel. to lose 7-1 on your sixth, and unfortunately las game of the playoffs, must be an unbearable agony in light of the hope rekindled by your recent victories.

it must have been difficult. i wince imagining it. in your honor i sall contain my gleeful grinning for five minutes of somber silence and petition our father in heaven to restrain his partying as well and grant you some respite for your troubled souls.

-now-a-sabres-fan-cuz-the-wings-just-got-knocked-out-of-the-playoffs-by-some-two-bit-canuck-team,

dan

01 May 2006

so this one time at a Billy Graham Jihad...

been dyin' to say that for such a long time. in light of what happened last night, I feel no qualms whatsoever. BBC (you can hear it on NPR after midnight) sparked a discussion with my medic in which I amazingly maintained a restrained tone of voice.

highlights include:

-the solution to the Darfur issue is to let them kill each other. there are too many bleeding heart compassionate people in the world.

But, sir, women and children are being massacred by government-armed, American-oil-company-backed militias. American corporations actively destabilize, subvert, and aid in the corruption of weak governments in order to exploit such situations.

-it's not my problem.

But, sir, the price of oil would go up.

-then we should just go in and take it. we're the most powerful nation on the globe. why should their problems interfere with our economy?

Umm...remember Vietnam? you know, how completely impossible it is to invade and control a country that doesn't want you there? besides, isn't that robbery? we're having a pretty damn difficult time just maintaining stability in Iraq right now. We're stretched really thin. I don't think you can really manage that.

-we should have just nuked 'em.

What?!!

-yeah. nuked 'em and taken the oil. problem solved. situation stable.

Nuclear warfare? Aren't you worried about fallout, nuclear winter, radiation contamination?

-nope. I'll be dead before that's a problem.

Right. Ok. what about our relationships with other countries around the world? Wouldn't that jeopardize our economic ties, peace treaties, etc?

-we're America. we don't need them.

Hmmm. Ok. what about terrorism? That would probably get a huge boost from nuking an Islamic country in the name of exploiting their natural resources?

-Terrorism? there'll always be terrorists. Tell you what would make it a lot better though. We should just find the terrorists, haul them out in the street, and shoot 'em right in the heads.

I think that would make the problem worse.

-No. Not if you take them and their families out into the street and just execute 'em all. That would take the wind out of a lot of their sails.

Okay. So. Let's recap. Nuclear genocide, international armed robbery, subversion of foreign governments, and execution squads. Not to mention the military takeover of other countries. "Might makes right?" I ask him.

He agreed.

"Is this what you teach your children?"

Yep.

-----

Damn.

The world's greatest democracy is wasted on f****** g**d*** idiots. peevishly self-involved ones to boot.

--the previous conversation has been neither embellished nor exaggerated in the slightest, nor did the interviewer employ leading questions or excite exaggerated reactions. somehow the interviewer managed to remain calm and conversational throughout. he remains as flabbergasted as you no doubt are.

Dan Perrine...now I understand you. now I understand.

21 April 2006

o me, o my, i heard me ol' wife cry

yeah. best concert ever. somehow we scored fifth row tickets to a sold-out Great Big Sea show by showing up fifteen minutes after doors were supposed to open. rock on us. those guys can throw a concert...basically sang along to every song and now my throat is gone. but how can you not when they throw "General Taylor" out there right after "I'm a Rover" and "Donkey Ridin'" and "Excursion Around the Bay..."














and "Patty Murphy" and "Mari Mac" and "Jack Hinks" and "Lukey" and "Consequence Free"...

and a boatload of quite awesome new songs. including two about horses falling through the ice, and that beautifully thoughtful one about whether it's better to have a mermaid with the top half woman and the bottom half fish or the other way 'round...

so we sang real loud. and then when they did a brief montage of verses from eighties hair ballads and such...they stopped singing and let us carry along with Whitesnake, Summer of '69...yeah.

So, by the time the second encore rolled around, they came out and shushed the audience to the first complete hush in three hours and laid out a beautiful "Ol' Brown's Daughter" completely a capella, completely sans amplification. Complete and total awesomeness.















yeah. what a night. how could such a night be any better? well, i did get a sunburned scalp from clambering around at letchworth after cooking venison burgers on the first fire of the summer...















not a bad end to a slothfully uneventful week.















oh, yeah. and spent the first night of the season outside. underneath the crisp, clear sky full of Houghton stars. in the back of my truck. let the legendary travels begin.















with a nod to Joss Wheedon, I give you...the Lady Serendipitiy.

04 April 2006

loooopity loo



well. so. this friendly lady is Maureen. she works for the University of Buffalo. see how she looks friendly, competent, engaging, professional? yes.

now. attend to the young man. perhaps not so competent, professional--but well compensated with friendliness and perhaps overenthusiastically engaging. yes. he is coked out of his mind on a friendly little relative of diazepam--known to the layman as valium, or Madame V. serendipitously, Madame V was joined on her stroll through my circulatory system by the ever congenial nitrous oxide, also known as "laughing gas." or even better, "irrepressible giggling like a schoolgirl for no apparent reason gas." our young man had just attempted--and failed--twice in valiant and perhaps overambitious attempts to stand on his own two feet. it's hard when it feels like you have three or four very groovy feet--of which one, the ex-hippie-zebra-from-florida appears slightly enamored of the green penguin. and if you thought he had an odd sense of humor stone sober...

to make things more interesting, a "short term amnesiac" had joined the pharmaceutical mambo-ing through this young man's bloodstream.

so. short term amnesia being what it is, if you recieved a telephone call this morning from said young man, he does not remember it. at all. nor could he even remotely be considered responsible for what he did or did not say, or any confusion so resulting. and, finally, he hopes that you derived as much enjoyment from the experience as he did. because he had an absolutely fine birthday morning.

with all the swank in my voice...thank you Maureen. such a lovely maiden of the moonshine mist...

now. four wisdom teeth lighter, and eight days of sick leave ahead of me...it's time to sit back, slurp down the ibuprofen-laced slurpees and enjoy this season of-- in the grand words of Dan "Perm" Crandall--maxin' and relaxin'.

yeah.

03 April 2006

the cross on my back

or "tatoo pt. II"

twilighttreader:
"The ironic thing is that you can turn on the TV and see any number of celebrities and such who are patently not Christians sporting the iconography, be it with tattoos or "bling" or whatever. Why this girl things that inking a cross on her shoulder is making such a bold statement is really beyond me."


well, "this girl" was once upon a time a good friend of mine, so I should preface with a dear affection for an old friend. but. I also have pretensions towards being an intellectual. and i think ideas are important. so here's what I think.

Why? because trendy things entail a safe and easy form of "meaningful" self-expression when one leaves college and enters law/grad/hard knocks school and discovers the sheer difficulty of actually doing anything even minutely creative or important--of simply surviving in a system of pragmatic acquiesence to forces beyond your control.

It's a cog in a wheel in a transmission in a factory "sticking it to the man" without actually losing it's coveted little coggish place or recognizing its utter dependence on the system. Refuge through empty symbolism which you convince yourself is important. a lot of religious fervor works like that. Self-convincing action to artificially enliven a disappointing futility and rescue the self-concept from the oppression of being considered pretty insignificant by forces like nature and macroeconomic systems and socialized mass behavior.

Identity through contrived spiritual experiences. A coping mechanism in the place of humility.

Of course, I'm probably reading my own experiences and psychology right on top of hers. She may be validly experiencing something very spiritual, something she chose to express from deep conviction of its importance. For her sake I sincerely hope so. Because if not, she's compensating around an important bit of reality rather than facing it. And as we learn in the medical profession, compensation without action to address a threat is a losing game.

And for my sake, I hope she never reads this :)

02 April 2006

myspace blues

So I have an old friend who I rediscovered last week (through myspace--go figure--and I just got an account so that I could comment on my little bro'sspace) who happened to just be finishing the process of getting a tattoo--an outline of a cute cross on the right shoulderblade to be precise.

But--for all of you more interested in the tawdrier details of my romantic life rather than the higher world of philosophy...skip to "Part II" below, where someone propositions me on mySpace, and quandries ensue.

Now this tattooing is a pretty serious move from a conservative, Christian homeschooled girl, whether or not she's in law school. I mean, we weren't just reading "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" in high school--we were mad hardcore Eric Ludy fans. "When God Writes Your Love Story." Which, if I may digress, absolutely blows. He doesn't. He doesn't write anything. He just kind of sits there waiting for you to do something, and there you are waiting for him to do something, and there's this awkward silence...

Well. Anyway. She's got this tattoo now, against the advice of her parents, etc, etc., and decided to explain it. On Myspace. I for one, am thinking she'd better not have any serious agnostic or faith-shaking experiences for the rest of her life, because, hey, you've got this permanent tattoo, and people will always be asking, and you'll be either bitter or ashamed. And carrying a cross of bitterness on your back is probably a bad idea. Unhealthy psychologically.

At any rate. "I sincerely wanted to permanently and publicly identify myself as a Christian. It's a personal thing - I've struggled in the past with being ashamed of my faith, and this is my way of telling myself and the rest of the world that I am no longer, and will never again be ashamed of my relationship with Jesus."

Well. Okay. This helped me finally resolve some of my ambivalence about calling myself a Christian. I am not ashamed of my faith. But I am pretty ashamed of a lot of other peoples'. The church across the street is advertising on that little church-sign of theirs a "Christian" coffeehouse. Which pretty much guarantees that it will be lousy, contrived and uncomfortable. Quite frankly, if I could go through life without ever again being called Christian, I would be quite happy. I would actually be free to live the life my creator made me to live and the mysterious, often vaguely ominous but always fiercly beautiful, holy ghost calls me to. The last group to publically and permanently take up the cross as part of their bodily attire was during the Crusades, and we all know how that went. You will never see a tattoo of the cross on my body because I would rather cut off my right hand than identify myself with what passes for "Christianity" today. I will take up the cross in my lifestyle, thank you, since I have tried enough to avoid it to know that such a feat is impossible anyway.

well. that gets that off my chest.

Part II.

And then I checked my mySpace mail. Now, keeping in mind that I started this whole mySpace thing as a fun way to get back in touch with a bunch of old friends who, I happened to discover, were using said electronic forum, know (O gentle reader) that I whimsically chose to make a good time of it and not reveal my identity easily.

So the myspace space lacks my actual name, and the picture I used on my profile is from a certain Shakespeare play in which I was topless, clad in yellow harem pants, with flowing black hair and a "Dark Egyptian" complexion courtesy of a ridiculously brown, liberally applied sponge. And I had a beard. And I was attempting to imitate Ben Stiller, of the Derek Zoolander "Blue Steel" fashion.

Suffice to say, it's not a very...representative...picture of me. and I'm flexing what little bulk Iwas in posession of as well. I still had abs back then...or so I like to think.

So I check my mySpace mail, to see if said old friends have written me back with confused queries as to my identity yet, and some lady in Albany, (blonde, young and attractive, with a healthy social self, if the picture tells any truth), pops up in my Inbox. she is, as mentioned, cute and presumably in posession of a healthy enough social existence to not be an internet obsessed mySpace stalker mind-job. the subject line reads: "heyyyy buddy..." which is precisely the sort of thing I'm well known to say. I'm sure you're all quite aware of my little fondness for elipses.

so I open the letter.


"Hey there buster brown...

"So i guess the time has arrived for me to start using this site. I can resist no longer...Let the games begin! I took a look at your page and well, I liked what I saw... ;p"

"So, my name is C-----, and I'm from Albany, New York. I think us crazy kids should be friends. Cause you seem pretty nice, and smart, and possibly cute! (it's so tough to tell in this cruel digital world.. :)


And so on. Now, as many of you know, I am completely vain and ridiculously vulnerable to flattery. Especially when topless. But, quandries (and insecurity) begin striking me immediately. They always do. I no longer have flashing black hair flowing like sheep down the mountains (the sheep being black, and the mountains being my masculine shoulders except that it was never that long...more's the pity) I have a self-buzzed crop of red hair with a sparse, rather mundane goatee.

And, if I get her greeting right, I also am no longer "Buster Brown." More apt perhaps would be Wanker White, or Poppa Paleface. I am, after all, the child known for a rare ability to blind airline pilots at will by merely wearing a bare-midriff t-shirt (not that I have ever committed such an abomination...but think about it.) (on second thought, no, please don't.) (for the sake of your sanity and your bright future, I implore you, stop. the effort will leave you a broken man.) (or woman.)

And please to not even be mentioning my "EMS tummy" which has become much more...comfortable with its "lounging by the fireside in a dressing gown with wine and a quiet, self-satisfied belching and tummy-scratching" self. At least I don't have "EMS ass" yet.

hmmm...caught under false pretences, and I wasn't even trying. I guesss the lesson to take away from this is...

I'm that good. [polishes fingernails on shirt] can't fight the moonlight, baby...

[addendum and disclaimer] This has nothing to do with the previous two posts, and the firestorm on controversy surrounding the mysterious identity of the lady Nissa. just got this mySpace thing this morning. Amazing things can happen in my life and have nothing to do with women. Truly! I know it is hard to believe, but there is life without estrogen! And it's quite good!

01 April 2006

my fair lady

well.

okay.

i give.

there is a new lady in my life. and though it pains my stoic pride to admit it, she has inspired sheepish grins, unabashed rejoicing, and even little fits of giggling lately. Dr. Gallman introduced me to her the other night; it was a serendipitous meeting, completely unplanned...I'd almost decided not to go the International Banquet.

almost. it's a good thing I did.

funny enough, I'd just talked to my dad the other day, musing a littley amusingly about "the list"--attributes I didn't want to compromise on, traits I'd always admired.

"the ability to head off into the wilderness and carry her own weight is a plus...you know me, pop, so high-maintenance frills and frippery aren't important. I want a girl who just kills you grinning there, mud splattered on her face, miles from the beaten track, and doesn't need to be showered and shaved and tucked into bed every night...doesn't need a lot of coddling, doesn't need new accessories every payday...the kind where scratches and scars just add character and make you love her more."

and then a day later I was talking to Doc Gallman at the International Banquet. Wham. Bam. Slam. She hit everything on the list. And more.

she's just as old as I am--born in 1983, just hitting her prime. she grew up in America, but she's Japanese by birth and Japanese by family. That makes me excited more than anything--I've always gotten along best with cross-cultural sojourners, and I admire the reliability, practicality, durability, economy and grace of her Japanese heritage. Of course, maybe it's just the closest I'll ever get to being a samurai...

sure, other people may not think she's much to look at--but I find beauty in her simply graceful lines. she is elegant without being ostentatious--solid and durable where it counts, not plastic or a sporting a quick-fading faddish style.

and she's only got 90,000 miles on the engine--her people are well renowned for living well into their second or third hundred thousand miles. best of all, she's not only got the manual transmission, but the four-wheel drive as well, and the super-gas efficient, super-long lasting 4 cylinder engine. everything I've been looking for for over three months now, right under my nose, and for a lot cheaper than anything else out there.

here she is with the gracious and kind Dr. Gallman, last fall. isn't she lovely? I couldn't be happier. hongera for me!





ps--I have the next eleven days off of work...so I'll be alive during normal waking hours. and probably bored. and super-drugged up, because my wisdom teeth are getting pulled Tuesday. so you should call me. 716.698.4358. now you have no excuse.

27 March 2006

amazing things

are happening.

indeed.


-------------
[edit]

a) wow. a thousand impassioned cries for justice, equality, and the kingdom of heaven, and what does it take to get you all to talk to me? someone to drop the "msichana" bomb. blood in the water...

b) some of us have real jobs, and we can't log in every five minutes to keep up with the latest gossip.

c) yes. sure. my meaningless and pathetically miserable existence, hunched in a darkened upper room with only my books and the meagre light of candles to keep me warm, could only be brightened by the advent of civilizing femininity. How have I borne the awful cares and toils of this world without the tender hands of a woman to lift me up from my cares and sorrows and make me complete? O, John Eldredge, I am the man without woman, without captivating romance and adventures, without hope in the world! Deliver me from my boredom, my listlessness, the vanity of my existence, for the bane of the single man is to know nothing but sorrow and a chasing after the wind...

d) yah know, i must have been so eagerly awaiting the joys of miscommunication, excruciating sexual tension, a strained and broken budget, differing mores and expecations, clashing gender roles, mood swings, emotional firestorms, blind mistakes with horrifying consequences, polite-relationships-with-her-obnoxious-friends, failed expectations, more miscommunication, isolation from friends, agonizing weeks of breaking up and getting back together only to break up again, not to mention something to do with all of my overabundant spare time!

e) I must be longing to escape the hell of singleness, with its mild stresses, cordial relationships, time for reading and laughing and watching movies, casual wardrobe, open and flexible schedule, freedom of expression, freedom to go and do without fear of offending some arcane and twisted feminine logic...

ya'll are hilarious.

except.

y'all are kinda right...

but I really have to go to work now. it's a twenty minute bikeride and I have twenty minutes to get there and I don't have my boots on yet.

I shall write more...baadaye.

:)

23 March 2006

yeeeah killing time so's i don't fall asleep

triads

books i just bought:
-Deep Survival by Laurence Gonzales
-Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi
-How Soccer Explains the World by Franklin Foer

groceries i just bought:

-fresh hummous
-hummous mix in boxes
-six pack of Pete's Wicked Wanderlust Cream Beer

books i just finished:
-Deep Survival by Laurence Gonzales
-Snow Leopard by Peter Mathiessen
-Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden

firsts this week:
-pub crawl on St. Patty's day
-buzzed by red-tailed hawk in cemetary on the way home from work yesterday morning in the middle of the city!
-got paid to watch a troupe from Mexico perform various ethnic (and awesomely rhythmic) regional dances.

books i'm halfway through:
-King Lear
-Bread and Wine by Plough Press
-A Season in Mecca by Abdellah Hammoudi

cool grown up accomplishments:
-clean, orderly room with visible floor for over a week now
-set up serious appointment to inspect/possibly buy a truck to live out of for a year
-planning schedule for summer w/multiple engagements BEFORE the first day of spring

excellent new tunes on miPod:
-Wayfaring Stranger by 16 horsepower
-Sunday Bloody Sunday covered by Pillar
-It's Too Late by The Streets

my wicked awesome drinking vessels
-handmade Paul Christensen awesomely-massive pottery drinking mug
-pink nalgene with flower and pink lid
-stolen cafeteria cup with "I was stolen by a sinner" written on it in black magic marker by the indescribably profound Ben Howard

ladies i thought were really cool but turned out to be elsewhere enamored:
-girl i never asked out, and it was way too late
-girl i finally made up my mind to ask out only to discover that i had made my mind up...too late
-girl i was just about to ask out, but discovered i was: just too late

films recently watched:
-Pulp Fiction
-Hero
-Blackhawk Down

excellent articles:
-living with constant wireless interaction: "Continuous Partial Attention"
-Zakaria on Iraq: "Apalling but not Hopeless"
-William Jennings Bryan: when a promising leftist Christian populist social movement was nipped in the bud in favor of the urbane secularists, setting the ground for today's culture wars...possibly.

great conversations this week:
-Elinor Ostrom-ish analysis of potential incentive programs for EMS workers and difficulties posed by current Computer Aided Dispatch system with new (my new) supervisor; also perverse corporate shareholder-driven cost-cutting incentives in the absence of market-driven quality control due to the nature of EMS work and public contracts in the urban/suburban economic divide
-Surprise reacquaintance with old Paramedic friend Geoff Boone from Houghton Volunteer Fire Department days, over patients at the ECMC of a random.
-Inanely cheerful banter and rediscovery of The Streets with friend who only last week was sailing (metaphorically) through rough waters under iron skies.

quotes:
-Voltaire:
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."

-Stephen Levy:
"A live BlackBerry or even a switched-on mobile phone is an admission that your commitment to your current activity is as fickle as Renée Zellweger's wedding vows. Your world turns into a never-ending cocktail party where you're always looking over your virtual shoulder for a better conversation partner. The anxiety is contagious: anyone who winds up talking to a person infected with CPA feels like he or she is accepting an Oscar, and at any moment the music might stop the speech."

-The Streets:
"We first met through a shared view/she loved me and i did too."


notes to self:

-there is an infinite supply of irresistably great deals on tantalizingly clever books, cds, and dvds, which are capable, if not carefully monitored, of making swiss cheese of drastically finite budgetary resources.

-ask out the next encountered "fly bird" without the customary four or eighty weeks of introspection, uncertainty, tentative get-to-know-you-first thing. absolutely no mandatory 40-day waiting periods, homeschool inexperience be darned!

-eat cheese! and hummous! listen to crazy apocalyptic gothic folk music while chatting aimlessly with friends! listen to backlogged NPR podcasts while doing nothing really productive! and do it more often! life is bueno!

places i would still rather be right now
-Tanzania with my brother
-Tanzania with my sister-in-law
-Tanzania with my darling neices

pictures that keep me happy in my exile

-neices playing in the Indian Ocean

-yeah, it really does get that green and beautiful and warm, and good people actually sit outside for the fun of it and don't get frostbite. and birds sing too.

-just look at those crazy people!

enjoy!