well. so. this friendly lady is Maureen. she works for the University of Buffalo. see how she looks friendly, competent, engaging, professional? yes.
now. attend to the young man. perhaps not so competent, professional--but well compensated with friendliness and perhaps overenthusiastically engaging. yes. he is coked out of his mind on a friendly little relative of diazepam--known to the layman as valium, or Madame V. serendipitously, Madame V was joined on her stroll through my circulatory system by the ever congenial nitrous oxide, also known as "laughing gas." or even better, "irrepressible giggling like a schoolgirl for no apparent reason gas." our young man had just attempted--and failed--twice in valiant and perhaps overambitious attempts to stand on his own two feet. it's hard when it feels like you have three or four very groovy feet--of which one, the ex-hippie-zebra-from-florida appears slightly enamored of the green penguin. and if you thought he had an odd sense of humor stone sober...
to make things more interesting, a "short term amnesiac" had joined the pharmaceutical mambo-ing through this young man's bloodstream.
so. short term amnesia being what it is, if you recieved a telephone call this morning from said young man, he does not remember it. at all. nor could he even remotely be considered responsible for what he did or did not say, or any confusion so resulting. and, finally, he hopes that you derived as much enjoyment from the experience as he did. because he had an absolutely fine birthday morning.
with all the swank in my voice...thank you Maureen. such a lovely maiden of the moonshine mist...
now. four wisdom teeth lighter, and eight days of sick leave ahead of me...it's time to sit back, slurp down the ibuprofen-laced slurpees and enjoy this season of-- in the grand words of Dan "Perm" Crandall--maxin' and relaxin'.
yeah.
7 comments:
dear dan, if you write a book, i will buy 3.
Awesome post man. Glad to hear your experience with the dentist was memorable. Altered mental states have to be a lot of fun when you know what it is and you can exploit it to make people laugh . .. . One of my favorite hobbies.
Dave
hahaha And Happy Birthday Dan! What a birthday trip...! hahahaha I bet you had loads of fun. ;) I have yet to experience such wonderful trips with Madame V., as you fondly call her, or short term amnesiacs, or senorita laughing gas... Wisdom tooth #1 was preceded by the sauve-like evil villian of novocaine - an alluring numbness but an evil sting... I hate the feeling of novocaine being injected into my tight-skinned gums. errrrr! grating grating! Turn the music up loud to drown out my other sensations! Wisdom tooth #2 has yet to be irritating enough to warrant removing. But it's end is in sight nonetheless... as dental work in Japan is way too cheap to pass up the opportunity to get rid of a tooth that is bound to make me miserable.
And Tegan hit on a wonderful idea. You should write a book. Someday. Soon. Because I want to read it. And I'd recommend it to all my friends. And I'd help translate it into Spanish for you and then share it with all my Latin American friends... At this point, I won't offer to do the same in Japanese. That would just be a bad idea. But I would still recommend it to my Japanese friends.
cheers! and here's to you writing that book! grins!
I'd say drugs are a pretty darn good birthday present. :)
I actually wasn't loopy at all when I got my wisdom teeth out! Nope, no laughing gas for me, just local anesthesia, and a wide-awake chance to watch the entire thing reflected in my dentist's goggles. I LOVED IT! Watching a surgical procedure on myself? How often does that happen? It was amazing.
P.S. - Happy Birthday!
You were truly loopie! As a first hand witness of the day's events, it was quite interesting to engage in a conversation with you during that time. Yes, the phone did ring, yes, you took your pain pills, no, they would not give you the teeth they pulled, yes, you had to pay part of the cost and no you can't "drink" or drive. It was fun. As for your birthday...want more of that story, I was there! Love...Mom
hee hee hee!
that's all i have to say.
oh, and - i want laughing gas for MY birthday, too! some people have all the luck.
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