reasons i am happy to be alive:

i. am planning a winter hiking trip with a paramedic/ass't forest ranger from work. for tomorrow. in the snow. sleeping outside. we are packing mango-chai granola and indian rice dishes. we are persevering in spite of of the best efforts of frigid and bitter bureaucracies at work and the threat of hunters in the field.

ii. dan sahli. jared rosenau. seth nichols. chris marshall.

iii. eileen frawley, who can turn failing to finish a bike oddysey into something fun.

iv. the afterglow from an amazing houghton trip. and hi uan's amazing back massage. with paul christensen's company.

v. i saved a life this week. (finally!) within fourteen minutes of calling 911, our young gunshot wound victim was recieving definitive care at the Erie County Medical Center. it didn't look great for him, the .40 cal hole in his ribs with a matching exit wound in the back and the rather white cast his skin was taking on, and the increasing incoherence--he had started circling the drain as we arrived--but word from surgery is that he's going to pull through. i drove, and directed backboarding/extrication while Nils the Norwegian Paramedic prepped the rig.

yeah diggity. so let the tally now stand; as far as immediate life threats go: the Reaper: 4, Me: 1. i am very happy to finally be on the board.

vi. the postal service

vii. The US Postal Service

viii. the very persistent and full of surprises Rosaline Kelada-Sedra, who demanded a story from me last December and finally got it two weeks ago, and with it more soul-searching monologue than she bargained for (and indeed more than i had delivered since...well, certain portentous events). and who likes the Original Pancake House. and embraces her own Africa-time.

ix. a partner who is easy to work with and compassionate with patients. even if a bit disgruntled. and a bigger, shinier, all-around-nicer ambulance. here's to #557: 432864 miles and may she keep on tickin'!

x. Legends of the Fall ...but it makes me sad, too...in a good way?

xi. lunch with Pauls Shaffner, Christensen, and Shea, with guest appearances by Woolseys, Fortes', and Kriggs.


yeah eye candy! (or is it...iCandy? muah-ha hah hah. watch your shoulders!)

xii. driving CHOB 501, the Neonatal Intensive Care Transport, twice in one night, down to my old hospital haunts in Olean and Wellsville, in a blinding snowstorm, to pick up ailing preemies with a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner and a Neonatal Respiratory Therapist. and doing the whole drive basically--nearly to Pennsylvania and back--with lights and sirens on. and having the team compliment me at the end of the trip on being an excellent driver. yesssss...taking care of cute little newborns. and visiting the southern tier. priceless.



xiii. my grandpa told me the other day that he wants to visit my brother in africa and he wants me to come with him. i couldn't imagine a more awesome journey, an epoch for the books of lore.

xiv. christmas is coming--and i am lucky enough to get a few days around the holiday off! then there's new years, a new years i can legally drink at! and shelly bloser's wedding!

xv. the amazingly productive social effects of drinking beer together. it's like the new commensality.

xvi. i'm going to sleep now--in a bed i made, in a room i rent, with money i make, clothes i bought, furniture i fashioned, and food i cook. a comfortable place of my own.

a toast: to living on my own terms. (hah! as much as a disgruntled cog in a bitterly steep and harshly uncaring power structure can...) "to the founder of the feast..."