hah!  after purloining the enemy vehicle, raiding General Dollar's supply depot ("Salute the General!"), and awaiting the appropriate moment while honing our combat skills on the X Box, John-Mark "That Darn Cat" Kane and Danny Lee "O'Malley the Alley Cat" Holcomb began their preparations:  under cover of darkness they armed their weapons, deftly hoodwinking enemy spies into thinking that all was calm on the Western Front.  When the perfect moment was at hand (3:00 am, naturally) we boldly penetrated behind enemy lines, armed with merely one Z-290 Glade Air Bomb, Six M-49 Toilet Paper Grenages, 84 Diversionary X33 Air Balloons, 23 Stealth Water Bomb Mines, a Princess Leia/Amidaala puzzle-poster to confuse the enemy, 4 A130 Crepe Paper Rolls, one sinister Z-10092 Spider-Man Blowup Chair, one bottle of C39 "Irish Spring Body Wash" Floor Lubricating Booby Trap, one bottle of F458 Extra Sudsing Dish Soap for the enemie's Bathing Facilities, and a brightly colored fishy shower curtain because we are, after all, in touch with our feminines sides.  

They never even stirred from their peaceful slumber...which was a pity because we went through all that effort to tie their doors shut, employing admirable stealth and the sort of incredibly complicated knots that would make Captain Jack Aubrey himself green with envy...

Some doubted our resolve.  Some doubted our intelligence.  Some touted the never-ending vigilance of the female race.  They thought we could never enter and exit unnoticed with so much equipment and so few soldiers.  They feared none would come out alive. 

Mission:  Impossible, they called it...

but we say...

Mission:  Accomplished.

--General Katsparoff